home birth can be a charming option if you choose it and have the ideal support team — and upholstery cleaner in place — but that’s not what I want for myself. After my first labor and delivery, I don’t think I’m a good candidate anyway. I realize I never did tell you about my loooong first childbirth with my rookie baby, Holden. I do want to tell you someday — or at least write it down so I don’t forget — but it is so much less fun than wiping someone’s tushy, which is the pledge of this site, I don’t know if I’ll ever get around to it.

Because of my a lot of recent labor that was four hours long (including the waiting and kicking back associated with an epidural), I expect this next little person to come QUICKLY.

At this point, I know a handful (yep five!) women who have had unplanned at-home childbirths and all I can say is that I’m terrified. Their stories are fascinating; unless, of course, you’re pregnant, in which case they’re terrifying.

On all fours in the shower room while the paramedics are running a few minutes late and your toddler is sleeping. Wow.

In the living room chair while your spouse is loading up the automobile for the healthcare facility and he returns to get you to find the baby crowning… dang.

If I’m not giving you enough juicy details, check out Kristen’s home birth story.

Let me just say that feeling my baby’s head emerge while I’m still at home, a mere 3 miles from the hospital, is something I’d like to avoid.

So how must I prepare for the worst case scenario?

A kind soul over at our BabyCenter column suggested that I pick up an emergency childbirth handbook, just in case. somewhere near the front door, I can stock clean towels, shoelaces, and whatever else I’m meant to have (boiling water?!). I’ll make sure our tarps are within reach, not buried in the shed somewhere as the big day approaches.

This particular book comes highly recommended, but I’m not finding a hard copy. maybe my spouse must download the google ebook.

So, I’m open to all ideas and advice, but please, no a lot more home birth horror stories.